Your smile through the clouds<Gulistan.>

 Long time not to update my blog.Recently,I was busy with my visa stuff.A bit  nervous , I also worrying about my study. I want to improve myself, on this vocation I haven’t made well preparation and the majority of my courses need reciting and memorizing.I admit my poor ability of memorizing  won’t work well. forget it.Let’s switch another subject.

so I lost so many things what are important for my age.

 but,I had opened my mind after careful thinking.Life will go on no matter i am happy or narrow,why me not choose smile. I should own a relax mood and attitude to work and life.

so ,now i am so relax,waiting is also a happy thing,

 so my friend,don’t make yourself tired,life is enjoying,not tiring.If you choose to keep on smiling you’ll be ok! 

  I am discovering just how much self-centeredness and immaturity annoy me. I am also discovering how less patient I have become with age. But maybe it’s not about becoming less patient, perhaps I am finally learning to set boundaries with others. There is a limit to how much of a bad thing one can take. You may say and feel all the things you want but if your actions don’t match those feelings and words, then they are all meaningless.

So many questions inundated my head and strong emotions slapped my heart.Funny how much words on paper can affect you,Whatever may happen I keep telling myself to focus on what I have, on all those people and things in my life for which I am grateful.

God seems to be putting up challenges to test my patience these few days. 

I went shopping today,it was raining, the rain hitting painfully on my face and unluckily.seems like i dont have much of a choice. plus i might be accompanying Mum to somewhere.. you know how i love to spend some time with her;

you know, suddenly, i realized that i have alot of choices to make. alot of choices i dont feel like thinking and making a decision. oh, i hate making decisions. 

hmm, okay, that’s not much. but still, these decisions are going to alter my life forever. right? damnnn damnnn damnnnnn  

Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you  want. Now believe it can come true. You will never know when the next miracle is going to come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it’s right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you are wishing for. The world is full of magic, you just have to believe it, with all your heart."  

  Saying “good luck!” when get something wonderful by chance without breaking a sweat, and “bad luck!” when encounter something very bad which ruin their life for the moment, people blame too much on their destiny.I wonder that, since we would sometimes enjoy good luck, and sometimes we have bad luck, you can see bad luck as –n, and good luck as +n, then you plus your bad luck and good luck, you can get 0, that is, no luck.

Therefore you don’t need to bother with your destiny. What exactly affect your life is your attitude, your character and attitude or character of those who live in your world. 

i’m tired tired tired. my head feels like a hammer whacking non-stop at it. 

i feel fainted.i suddenly wanna say, ‘i wanna give up. i dont wanna work anymore, study anymore. just let me give up. just let me give up, okay?’

i guess it’s byebye? maybe, heh, sigh, i dont know! damn all these decisions. if only there are better choices available.

right now, i’m just praying that my fate can be changed!

boy, i cant wait. 

 In life, there’s only one certainity. And that is death itself.

I just remembered the other day, i was listening to that song on my ipod. and then, somehow, i found myself pressing the 

BACK button whenever the song finished and the next song came .I just had a talk with NXX on the phone, talking about uni 

life and stuff like that, and you know what, upon hearing what she said, i suddenly find that this path that i’m planning to 

embark on right now seems very scary and uncertain. is this what i really want? I find this question popping into my head 

constantly. girl, is that what you really want? now, what do you really want? the questions flowing in are endless, and I have 

this feeling that I might not be able to get the answer after months later. 

I know I shouldnt be thinking this way, but the other side of me says, yes that’s exactly what you are doing. I can actually 

start thinking of furthuring my education. somehow, it feels very evil and ironic dont you think?

it scares me, like how everything is scaring me at the moment. 

this feels like a moment of insecurities,uncertainity and i feel very unsafe.